Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Just Call Me Sherlock

About a year ago, I did a post highlighting some of the additional duties assigned to a classroom teacher (read it here if you missed it!). As I was grading my students' Science Tests and some reading homework tonight, I realized there was one very important role I forgot to mention... Detective/Code Breaker. Now, I know the government pays big money for their agents to be trained to decipher all different types of codes and information, but I might venture so far as to say that money is being wasted. I think those agencies should just consider hiring some elementary school teachers (or students) to do this decoding. I spend about 9 hours a day doing just that... let me show you. :)

Science Test:
Q: What are 3 Natural Resources in Virginia?
A: Stach you of libary. 
Literal Translation: Statue of Liberty.
Interpretation: "Obviously, the Statue of Liberty, located in New York, is made of copper, which is a mineral. Virginia has many mineral natural resources."

Q: List 3 ways to conserve water.
A: Trun of the foset.
Literal Translation: Turn off the faucet.
Interpretation: "When you're brushing your teeth, when you're washing dishes, when you're taking a bath, when you're skipping Ms. Wacek's Science lesson to play in the bathroom... think twice. Don't waste water."

Reading Homework about Mount Rushmore:
Q: If they were to add another president to Mount Rushmore, whom do you think they should add? Explain.
A: Maten Luther King Jr.
Literal Translation: Martin Luther King, Jr.
Interpretation: "I want John F. Kennedy's head on Mt. Rushmore. MLK supported JFK and both of them were assassinated."

Same question, different student...
A: Benjim Frakiln he was a genuis beouse he create eltrsid.
Literal Translation: Benjamin Franklin - he was a genius because he created electricity.
Interpretation: "I think Franklin D. Roosevelt should be added to Mt. Rushmore because he was president during the depression when people couldn't afford to use electricity. And he created thousands of jobs, which is almost as big a feat as inventing electricity."

Obviously, I'd have to go back and confirm that that's verbatim what my kids were aiming for, but considering I'm in my third year of teaching, I have a good feeling that my decoding is pretty accurate.
If I stop blogging within the next few months it's probably because someone in government read this and came to recruit me for my incredible skills. Or something like that... :)


  1. LOVE. IT.!!!! Your sense of humor is the best! (signed anonymous Mom since I never know how to log into this!)

  2. Hilarious translations, Steph. I wish my teachers had given me this much benefit of the doubt while I was in school. Although I think the first kid was actually talking about the stash of libraries that Virginia has... many do see this as a natural resource.