Which Planet?

You'd have to live in a cave to not know that America's education system has been struggling over the past few years to compete internationally. Thousands of studies have been done to study why this is, who is at fault, how to fix it, and everything else related. I'm not sure we'll have a true "solution" any time soon, but I can definitely see some of the major contributing factors... For example, students coming to Kindergarten not being able to recognize ANY of the 26 letters. Students coming to school not knowing how to speak in complete sentences. Students coming to school without any discipline, respect, or motivation. Teachers who get tenure after 3 years and then sit around and don't teach because they can't be fired. A sixth-grade math curriculum in 4th grade before their little minds are ready for the abstract concepts. Students coming to school thousands of words deprived in their vocabularies... And the list goes on.

But, so as not to be a complete Debbie Downer (and since I already said I don't know the solution, but can only work with what I get), I'll give an example of how this last "excuse" has worked in my favor this week. Thankfully, one of the words my vocabulary-poor students haven't yet learned is "anus." For those of you who are still reading after that statement, thank you. :) Of course, I'm sure many of you are wondering how I know they don't know that word... well, to you, I ask, "What is the 7th planet from the sun?" (Hint: Mneumonic - My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Noodles.)

Maybe it was just my family's strange obsession with potty humor or spending a lot of time with my older brother and his friends and their potty humor, but somewhere along the way "Uranus" was no longer just a planet. (I really hope that I'm not ruining this planet for anyone and that other people are well aware that the name of this planet sounds like "Your Anus"....) So, yes, that's where we are. I'm in front of class trying to contain my laughter every time a student mentions this planet. It wouldn't be so hard if they didn't always use it in such opportune sentences:

"Ms. Wacek, I'm reading a book about Greek Mythology and I found Uranus."

"In the order of planets, where is Uranus?"
"Is Uranus bigger or smaller than Saturn?" (For anyone who's actually wondering, it's smaller... in both senses of the term!) :)

All that to say, it's clear that my students do not know the word "anus" because this Solar System unit would not have gone NEARLY as smoothly if that word were prohibited or we had uproars of laughter every time it was said.

To close, I'd like to share with you a Solar System version of Chinese Water Torture short video that I used to teach the order of the planets. Try listening to it 3 times in a row. I dare you....

Fact or Opinion?

Fact: Something that can be proven. Something that is true or the same every time, no matter who you ask.
Opinion: What someone feels, believes, or thinks about something.

Ok, so those probably aren't Webster's definitions, but they are the most user-friendly, 4th grade definitions that I can think of! And even still, the kids get confused! They get the concept for the most part, but there are some that just baffle them every time.
For example, today during Reading they had to decide if the sentence "Patrick Henry was a noble patriot and was admired by everyone." was a fact or an opinion. Considering 99% of them don't understand the words noble, patriot, and admired, I let it slide if they missed it. But, I mean, come on kids. Obviously there were some who thought he spoke treason and too outspoken, it's CLEARLY an opinion. :)
Just kidding. The ones they usually miss are ones like this:
"Summer is the best season." - Definitely a fact. It can be proven and no matter who you ask, you always get the same answer...  at least when your sphere of influence is limited to 24 other school-crazed fourth graders who are dying to hear the words "it's the last day of school"!
"Ice cream is yummy." - Same thing. How can it be an opinion when it's a fact of life?
"My teacher is the best teacher in the world." - I honestly had a student come up to me and ask me if this was a fact... "because we all know it's true and you really are the best teacher and everyone in the whole class thinks so." So precious. But I'm pretty sure the 'best teacher' would've figured out a way to teach them enough to know the difference between facts and opinions.... :)

Having them identify facts or opinions is fun enough, but having them come up with their own facts and opinions is opening a whole new can of worms.

Fact: Bengermen Franklin made lightning. - In this student's and my defense, we haven't studied the electricity unit yet. :) 

Fact: Susan B. Antaney was deaf and blind. - Well, based on my decoding, I think you were trying to spell "Anthony"... based on your information, I must be mistaken. I appreciate you trying to share your wealth of knowledge, but in the future, why don't you just put a fact like your classmates' "I am at school."?

Fact: God is real. - Agreed. 

(On a similar note, one of my sneaky little students came up to me on one of our Fact and Opinion days and said, "Ms. Wacek, fact or opinion, Santa is real?" Haha. It's always important to tread lightly this time of year!!)

Lost in Translation!

Teaching ESL students can be a challenge. For example, it's hard enough to explain to a native English speaking 4th that a "hardship in the colony of Jamestown" does not actually mean there was a boat made out of stone, let alone someone who doesn't quite yet know that a ship and a boat are the same thing.
Although it has its difficult moments, I wouldn't trade it. The inquisitiveness, culture, trains of thought (not real railroad trains... in case any of them are reading this...), and laughter they bring to the classroom are invaluable. There were two particular instances this week where I was reminded of the language barrier and the difficulty of the English language.
Tuesday morning, one of my students came in very solemnly, sat down at his seat, completed his morning work and then just stared off into space for a while. A few minutes later, he got up, turned to me, and said, "Ms. Wacek. I think today is not my lucky day."

Me: "Why not?"

"I got run over by a car this morning."
"Ummmmmmm..."
"I was walking to the bus and I looked both ways before I went in the street. But then, it just zoomed out of nowhere and ran me over."

"Ummmmm... What?! Did the driver stop? Are you hurt?"

"No. It almost ran me over." 
With that, he went back to his seat and read his book silently. The incident was never mentioned again. The events of that morning were definitely lost in translation. 

That same afternoon, I was tutoring some kids after school. I was working with some boys on long division (a constant in my life these days) and they started goofing around like 10-year-old boys who have just been through a full day of being cooped up in a classroom tend to do. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of the ESL boys shouts, "Oh man! This is giving me the hilly-billies!" Through our very confused expressions, everyone started laughing.. a nervous, confused laugh. "The hilly-billies?" 
"Yeah, it's so scary! I have the hilly-billies!"
"The heeby-jeebies?"
"Oh yeah. The heeby-jeebies. That's what I meant. What does that mean?"



I couldn't tell ya. You gotta love the English language! :)

Immunity!!

It's days like these where I wish the show Survivor was actually reality. It would be awesome to be able to win a challenge and get an 'immunity necklace'...

 
My immunity necklace would be different though. My immunity would actually give me physical immunity... not from getting voted off a deserted island (although, most days, for at least a fleeting moment, that's where I wish I was!), but from being invaded by the millions of germs that have overtaken my classroom this week.
Monday I found out that one of my students has pneumonia. She came to school the next day. Germs.
Tuesday I found out that one of my students cut his foot open over the weekend and it bleeds most of the day. Germs.

Wednesday 3 students were absent, 3 complained of stomach aches, 2 complained of headaches, 2 said they had thrown up that morning, and one was sent home puking (thankfully he made it to the trashcan in time!). Germs.
Not to mention we've been having majorly bi-polar weather, so all of our bodies are confused and weakened. Oy vay!

Thankfully, I was raised by parents who don't believe in germs or doctors in a country where the former are very prevalent. I think that is my immunity necklace right there (along with some daily orange juice, of course!). Here's to good health!

Holiday Dinner!

What's the first thing you think of when I say "Thanksgiving"?

Turkey. Green Bean Casserole. Pumpkin pie. Family. Football. Giving Thanks. These are the usual responses someone would receive when asking the above question. Actually, these are the answers that someone SHOULD receive when asking the above question.

If you asked a teacher or student this same question on the Monday of Thanksgiving week, you might get a different answer... something along the lines of "chicken chunks in gravy over a scoop of stuffing with cold green beans on the side and a roll on the top, served by grumpy-pants herself."

While it may not have been the most appealing and was definitely not served with any holiday spirit, it actually tasted pretty good.... or maybe I've just been an elementary school teacher for too long... or maybe I was tasting the three days of no school/students/stress that were symbolized by each chunk of chicken. Whatever the case may be, I was thankful for a warm lunch and even more thankful for mom's home-cooking later in the week. :) Now if only the Christmas holiday dinner would hurry up and get here.... ;)

Barnes and Noble Book Fair!

For the past two years, our school has teamed up with Barnes and Noble to do a fundraiser/book fair event. From 4-8 pm on Wednesday, November 16, families were invited to come get free cookies and cocoa, listen to stories being read aloud, be entered in a drawing for prizes and buy books (with a percentage of the proceed going to our school!). It's a pretty fun event and a nice excuse to spend a few 'quiet' hours at the bookstore. :)
Last year, I was babysitting my roommate's daughter during the event, so split my time between listening to the stories, playing with the trains, and raiding the cookie table. This year, I was off-duty, so I brought my laptop and a book and decided to just relax.
When I was announcing the event to my students, I told them I would be there from 4-6 and they should make sure to come find me so I could get them a free book. They all freaked out when I said this.. half of them were freaking out at the thought of a brand-new, free book... the rest were freaking out because they thought I was going to be playing Hide-and-Seek in the store and they actually had to FIND me! I assured them it was just a saying and I would be in very plain view and not hard to find at all. (If it wasn't the middle of No-Sweets-November, my location of choice would've probably been very near the cookie center again!) :)
During the time I was there, we had a pretty decent turn-out. I only had two of my kids come, which was fine by me, although it is always fun to see them outside of school so they realize I don't actually live there 24/7.
The mayor's wife was one of the readers, as were some teachers from our school, our principal, and a few staff from other local middle schools. It was cool to see all of the community getting involved.
I eventually got recruited to hand out cookies and was VERY proud of my self-control in not taking even a bite of the super soft, sprinkled sugar cookies or the chocolate chunk chocolate cookies! When the mad rush of students and parents wanting cookies had ended, I was relieved by another teacher and the assistant principal, so I said my farewells and came home!

The Reading Specialist from our school enthralling students in storytime!

It sure was a PARTY!

You don't understand how much will-power I proved myself to have by not eating these!

November 11, 2011

11/11/11. The luckiest day ever. :)

After a short debate from my students as to whether or not the world would end on this day, we got down to business. It was Veteran's Day, so we spent some time talking about how to honor our servicemen and women. Then, I announced that at 11:11, we were going to take a class picture that they would always remember. I told them that when I was in 7th grade, my whole school gathered in the gym at 9:09 am to celebrate 9/9/1999. I shared that it was a moment I would always treasure and remember and I wanted to give them the same experience. It was a touching moment. They were all super stoked. I was excited and smiling until Mr. Smart Aleck in the group had to shout out, "You were in 7th grade in 1999?! I wasn't even born yet!" Follow that with a 10 minute discussion on my age and that shining moment was over.
We did end up taking the picture, and I do believe they will remember this day for a long time, as will I. How lucky are we?